Shao Tu's essay really impressed me at the first instance as it was pretty straightforward and coherent. The essay as a whole reflected the kind of research that has gone into it. Shao Tu's though seems to go off the topic in the sense that I felt that he is not answering the question that has been asked. Shau Tu seem to be trying to merge too many sentences together thus I feel that he might be making some punctuation errors ex use of excess commas.
Though the essay seem to be very well connected such that there is a constant flow has been maintained throughout the essay. The entire essay has been broken into well-organized points that portray the various aspects of the problem of climate change. The points are very well supported by the facts that Shao has very viciously picked up from the article itself.
Moreover I found out there were some grammatical errors in the essay like the use of has and have that were pointed out to him at some places. Apart from that I strongly feel that besides stating so many facts, Shao Tu should have included some real life examples to support his arguments.
Overall it was a very systematic and crisp essay which was able to clearly state all the points that needs to be addressed with the immediate affect.
Firstly, thank you for your sincere comment.
ReplyDeleteAs to the topic of my essay, i found it very hard to give a specific answer to the question: What are the two arguments used? The question itself made me confused. Anyway, i can only draw my own conclusion that to fight against global warming, we human beings should combine with nature ecosystem. Maybe i should think about it later and come up with more accurate answer and expression.
Meanwhile, in the perspective of my grammar, i admit that it is my weakness and i cannot even pick them out by myself. Thank you for helping me correct it and i will try to improve my grammar knowledge.
Since this is my first formal essay, i think it more or less satisfying and significant. I learnt a lot and will carry on polishing my writing skills.