The essay starts with a conclusion of the reading material and goes straight to the point. At the end of the first paragraph, the theme statement is put forward that ecosystem and biodiversity are our two weapons to fight against global warming, and we should change the way we perceive the nature.
Transition sentence is used at the beginning of the next two paragraphs, which explain the two points respectively in details. Concrete statistics are given out here, like '.74ยบ rises in the temperature per 100 years', which is quite convincing. What impresses me most is his discussion on human beings 'selfishness', and the related education problems which are normally ignored by others. In addition, an irony is that nowadays, people even spend more money on weapons which may do long term unrestorable destruction on our environment!
The whole essay is structured well as the APA style is used, and some expressions are quite accurate. Still some improvement should be made in the reference part. Meanwhile, a title is quite needed to highlight author's opinion and capture readers' interest.
I am delighted to read your review Shao Tu.Even I thought that I have been very convincing with my arguments but after going for consultation found out that I had lot of mistakes .I had committed a lot of citation errors .I have always been very powerful and to the point in my writing.Basically ,what I wanted to convey through my essay was that there should be self realization rather then just others making us realize as to what needs to be done about the nature and climate change .Although it seems you were not fully satisfied with the title .As for that I intended to draw everyones attention to right on the complexity of the whole situation so thought that this title might do justice to my essay .Moreover, Fan Lei pointed out that I have a problem of constructing too long sentences which leads to more grammatical errors thus I would like to change it in my final essay and break long sentence into smaller ones.Apart from that it was very motivating to hear from you.
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